Today, I Learned...

Of all of the lectures I attend, of all the lectures I tune in to, there was one lecture today where the professor showed me something rather than taught it to me. Until I get out of this stalemate it has put me into, I am going to just be utterly useless.

The class was just a normal class: accounting at its finest one afternoon. Just one giant game of circumlocution. I was in a bedazzled state, one lacking in awe or enthusiasm. With much time left before class was scheduled for dismissal, our professor felt compelled to discuss the history behind the story in our case study. He told the history of a man with whom he was once acquainted...

A brilliant man this case study revolved around. To say the least, that man's talent was inversely proportional to his power in his company, despite being a full-fledged partner. According to the professor, this man was the best at what he did: tax accounting. When the firm he was working for began merging with another extremely large firm, this man's worth was nothing more than an ice cube in scotch. Those involved with structuring the merger felt his skills were highly useful, but more applicable to a different situation and thus shuffled his responsibilities and duties. In reallocating duties to the man, he wound up in a subpar place that was much farther from his expertise. Knowingly or unknowingly, the merger quelled the man's brilliance and flame and, in-turn, his career. The man continued walking that path laid before him by the merger... for a while. As the story continues, this man was said to have been driving around in his car and when he parked beside a bridge, he was never to be heard from ever again.

The story was publicized with the permission of the surviving widower. With the professor having been a friend but not a closer party, speculation subsequently ensued. The theory was that the factor pushing the man to the end of the bridge was of a personal matter -- not with regard to his home life, but with regard to his professional life. Either way, the reason and the cause are still entirely speculative.

As a bystander hearing about this in lieu of a lecture, I was too indolent to challenge this story for any inaccuracies and took his lesson as pure unadulterated truth. That said, the story hit me hard. I am, 21, graduating with a cum laude (if I fail my classes) or a magna cum laude with a BS in Business Administration - Management, Finance, and Accounting, and with the potential of a bright future ahead. Assuming I find a suitable career, I can see some correlation between that brilliant man's path and that which I continue to traverse. As you are aware, my hours of schooling and my hours of work collectively reach 70 hours weekly; Monday alone I am involved with school from 9am-9pm. I have been seen as a 25, 26, even 30 year old by my peers and I can only attribute that to my perspicacious devotion to my jobs and the toll those take on me. Regardless, the story exemplified a trite maxim in daily life taken for granted: put your life first, not your job. His theme and tone was more thought-provoking to me - no, to us as students - right before Thanksgiving break. The underlying theme was true too: work to live, not live to work.

This story does not make me feel more comfortable about my present pace in life and even strips away at what confidence I did possess (or exude for that matter). Contrary to the brilliant man in this story, I am even much less influential and am having much difficulty f inding the career most suitable for me. Perhaps I am just really pessimistic and tired, and as my thalmus overpowers the rest of my core functions, I can't help but wonder about what is to occur to me in the future. I doubt I will have many close friends thereafter to rely on if I find myself in this situation, I mean how many people actually knew about how I was threatened with my life a few weeks back? Beyond the veil of time lies the answer to the inherent problem built by my own past... hopefully something comes along that becomes a panacea for my problem and all ends up well.

But I will find my solution after I find out what is beyond the wall of sleep for my eyelids darken this screen, and my life twirls into a hazy myst.. and this page - this story - quickly turns to nothingness. Why does it concern me...? I'm different from the man. I am... aren't I?

Sorry, I'll have something more light-hearted next time. It's just too late (early) for a story of greater humor.